Abusers are Always Blameless (in their opinion)

…”my last ex, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary insisted that he was completely blameless, in as he put it at his sentencing hearing, ‘what happened between us‘. That would be him putting
me in the hospital.

One message he left me as he was running from the cops said, “I’m sorry you got hurt”. As if I had tripped and fallen. The depth of unconscionable, remorseless, lack of empathy is just mind- boggling to me. But he was very very concerned for himself. As usual. The most single minded focus on self I’ve ever seen aside from my parents.

Sorry doesn’t cut a long way with me. Sorry is for children. Children believe if they cry and say their sorry all will be forgiven. Adults understand that words and actions carry consequences, sometimes consequences that cannot be mitigated or negotiated. That’s why you’re supposed to be careful about what you say and do when you’re a big boy or girl. And when you do f it up, because everyone will misstep to one degree or another, there’s a right way to be sorry, and it takes considering another persons feelings, something an abusive person has great trouble with.”

–LaLoba66 – 20070305

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