Frequently Asked Questions About Verbal Abuse

Here are some of the most commonly asked questions about verbal abuse with answers from Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond and Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out.

Is name-calling verbal abuse?

Yes! Name-calling is abusive because it says that you are BLANK, but actually you are a person. Batterers define their mates as objects. It isn’t healthy to be in the same room with a person who defines you, and it is harmful to children who witness it. They either see their survival threatened or they think it’s normal, or both.

Why does it seem that after he abuses me verbally he is happy, like he feels relieved? Also, he will act like it never happened. It’s like he has no memory of it. I try hard to not fight with him because it’s not worth it — it only makes him say more things. I end up asking myself if I am blowing things out of proportion or overreacting.

This is what verbal abusers do. Verbal abusers almost universally act like nothing happened, like they feel fine and the relationship is fine. This is because they feel they have more control. Maybe they got you to back down, believe them or doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself then you might go with what they tell you, be more compliant and more slave-like. This makes them happy.

Click HERE to read the entire list of questions and answers about Verbal Abuse.

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