Never go to couples or marriage counseling with an abuser, get help yourself, and get him to see someone else to deal with his abuse issues. If they go for help, keep in mind a time limit for improvement, you don’t feel it or see any improvement, you have to plan your escape, you will never have a normal life, most abusers can not be fixed, period. Don’t waste your time, crossing your fingers, arms, legs, wishing, praying, and hoping, none of that works. Actions speak louder that words, yours and theirs if there is any hope of changing your life and your children’s for the better.
… The verbal abusers worst weapon is their mouth and their ability to find and use so many demeaning and mean words. Their ability to USE loving words to create confusion, pain, and more suffering, even more astounding. Abusers are never at a loss for words when they are trying to gain control of you, they will fight so hard to break you to get you to live in their reality. Trying to reason or talk about your feelings or your bad treatment brings up the defense system, missiles, loaded with lethal, mean, hateful, words, meant to destroy or kill your spirit will be fired at you. Sometimes done in terrifying rages, some times done in a completely a matter of fact calm tone of voice, but every bit as deadly to your spirit.
SOURCE: Divine Caroline