Anecdotes and Quotes

All from:

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“The narcissist is never the person he appears to be in the public sphere.”

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists
by Eleanor D. Payson, MSW

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Advice from the Pros�
“When we truly want to end the relationship, we must pay attention to what we think of ourselves – physically, emotionally, and intellectually, and what are our social opportunities. If we find we don’t get good marks in the self-esteem department, or our social opportunities are lacking, that can make us think “a bird in the hand is better than one in the bush”. That sort of thinking gets in our way and contributes to a sense of being compelled to maintain this relationship causing us such great emotional discomfort. If you find yourself unable to think about yourself or your situation in alternative ways, a period of counseling may be of use to you.”

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“For me, 5 years after the first d&d, it took hitting bottom, acute stress reaction, heart unit intensive care unit, tranquilizers, losing my job, a frozen career, almost losing my condo, derealization (the most scary experience), almost a nevous break down, acute depression, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, losing my dignity, becoming a shadow of the woman I was, and moving overseas to be with family to help me heal. That’s what it took 5 years later. Had I left one year earlier, no acute stress reaction, no derealization, no suicidal thoughts. Had I left two years earlier, no panic attacks, no tranquilizers. Had I left right away, I would have only suffered some depression, and mild anxiety. By now, I would be succsessful in my career with a new healthy mate, independent in my own condo, and very close to the person I was before N. But no, I had to stay five more years, hoping to change him, make him love me like before, have him around so I don’t feel anxious and scared, beat him at his own game. I lost big time because I hit bottom, because I fell to pieces, because the longer I stayed physically or emotionally, the worse it got, the longer it takes me to heal. My life was shattered, but his life was not affected in any way because he is a N. How I wish I got out sooner. How I wish I went NC sooner. How I wish I ran and never looked back. He destroyed my life, and I let him.


What is it going to take for you???”

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