That’s how it is with a narcissist…

You can only build your bridge half way out there. That’s it. You cannot ever ever ever build all the way to the other side. The other person has to meet you somewhere near the middle.

A narcissist never will.

He’ll make you build and build and build, and just as you reach HIS shore, he backs up. And you have to build and build and buildmore.

That’s how it is with a narcissist.

A bottomless pit of self absorption and greed, never satisfied, like there’s an emotional tapeworm in his black hole soul that will NEVER be full.

The more you give, the more he takes. Period. It cannot be any other way.

All a victim can do is no contact, learn to accept the illogical nature of the beast without real closure, and move on, taking care of his/herself.

–EscapeArtist/Carly – 20070204

One thought on “That’s how it is with a narcissist…

  1. This is a very helpful post. It’s clear and graphic, and matches my own experience with more than one narcissist in my life. I plan to keep this “bridge to nowhere” in mind when in the company of these people.

    I also acknowledge the necessity for some to abhor contact with the one who has hurt them. I agree it’s right, maybe forever, in many cases, to cut the narcissist out of ones life. For me, I would say the importance is to remember that there can be no relationship beyond a nodding acquaintance, and that only if the person is not actively abusive.

    For me, I think, it is helpful to undo the bond with my abuser, by viewing them from time to time, and seeing them as they really are. For me she is false, retreating, dishonest, and incapable of a relationship which will last, with me or with anyone.

    It may happen that someone abused by a narcissist may become so angry at the devaluation, abuse or neglect, that they struggle with the desire to lash out, and hurt their abuser in return. For me, with my tormentor, this turned inward, and put some serious lines on my face. It also proved to be tedious for people who care about me, for a very long time.

    Here is my little mantra, looking back at my tormentor: “I am not as she is. I can care about other people, hence I will find joy.” – ZenBean